Sunday, August 29, 2004
The Dangers of Beer-Goggling
Approximately four years ago things were going great for me. My life was peaceful, my job was great, my debts were shrinking, and I had more money than I really needed. It had been tough, but things were finally looking up. So I decided to celebrate. On Tuesday, November 7, 2000, I went out for a good time; a few drinks, a little dancing, you know how it is. What ultimately happened to me that evening is still a little blurry. I remember meeting someone who seemed like a decent person. Someone you could sit down and have a beer with. However, I remember disliking the person on a moral level, so I went in search of someone else. That's when things got strange. I remember accusations, arguments, apologies, and a lot of confusion. So you can imagine my surprise when I woke up and found myself in bed with this person.
At first I was pretty stunned. This had caught me off guard. I soon became angry when they refused to leave. Although I wanted to be fair and polite, they were making it hard for me to remain calm. Things really escalated when they resorted to name calling and threats of legal intervention. I tried to protest the situation but I was drowned out. What could I do?
After a while, it became clear that I was stuck with my new companion so I tried to make the best of it. However, we butted heads early and often. For instance, I had heard rumors from friends about my new companion's past and it wasn't encouraging. Rumor had it that this person was known for excessive drinking and possibly abusing drugs. When I asked, I was told that those days were in the past and I should mind my own business. When I inquired about broken promises and failing to follow through on commitments I was met with denials, convoluted stories, and secrecy. Again, what could I do? It was my house and my new companion was making it very uncomfortable for me. However, I stuck it out because I was given the promise that things would improve. I could count on it. This person had integrity.
So here we are, almost four years later and I'm still stuck with this person. Not only have things not improved, they've grown exponentially worse. Over the last four years I have been in a downward spiral. My job was outsourced to Mexico and my companion has been horribly irresponsible with money. I'm so far in debt now that it's going to take me years to get out. My friends have almost all deserted me and I find myself fighting with people for no legitimate reason.
When I really started digging into my companion's past I found things that turned my stomach. They have been sleeping around for years. Sneaking around behind my back to sleep with others. Secret meetings and phone calls, shady deals, and pacts with people of questionable moral standing. Not only that, but my house has fallen into a state of disrepair. After years of hard work I am watching my home crumble around me. All of my plants have died, the air has become stagnant, and I don't think the air conditioner is working correctly. My pets have all become ill, the floors are filthy, and I can't get anyone to help clean up.
Unfortunatley, my place was broken into a few years ago and some significant damage was done. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but my companion has me a little scared about the chances of it happening again. I'm told that it's pretty likely. Luckily though, every time I forget about the risks, my companion is quick to remind me so I don't get too comfortable. (Although I'm beginning to think that these warnings are being used to control me.)
I hesitate saying anything, but I think I've met someone else. Someone who gives me hope. Someone I feel that I can trust. Unfortunately my companion found out that I had been spending some time with my new friend and has begun spreading lies. These are some of the most awful distortions I have ever heard. Listening to them, a person would think that my new friend was deceptive, dishonest, and evil; but this just isn't true. I know because I've checked.
I'm hoping that things will turn around for me soon. In fact, my new friend and I are making plans to get away. It looks as though we can both get together in November. I can't wait!
At first I was pretty stunned. This had caught me off guard. I soon became angry when they refused to leave. Although I wanted to be fair and polite, they were making it hard for me to remain calm. Things really escalated when they resorted to name calling and threats of legal intervention. I tried to protest the situation but I was drowned out. What could I do?
After a while, it became clear that I was stuck with my new companion so I tried to make the best of it. However, we butted heads early and often. For instance, I had heard rumors from friends about my new companion's past and it wasn't encouraging. Rumor had it that this person was known for excessive drinking and possibly abusing drugs. When I asked, I was told that those days were in the past and I should mind my own business. When I inquired about broken promises and failing to follow through on commitments I was met with denials, convoluted stories, and secrecy. Again, what could I do? It was my house and my new companion was making it very uncomfortable for me. However, I stuck it out because I was given the promise that things would improve. I could count on it. This person had integrity.
So here we are, almost four years later and I'm still stuck with this person. Not only have things not improved, they've grown exponentially worse. Over the last four years I have been in a downward spiral. My job was outsourced to Mexico and my companion has been horribly irresponsible with money. I'm so far in debt now that it's going to take me years to get out. My friends have almost all deserted me and I find myself fighting with people for no legitimate reason.
When I really started digging into my companion's past I found things that turned my stomach. They have been sleeping around for years. Sneaking around behind my back to sleep with others. Secret meetings and phone calls, shady deals, and pacts with people of questionable moral standing. Not only that, but my house has fallen into a state of disrepair. After years of hard work I am watching my home crumble around me. All of my plants have died, the air has become stagnant, and I don't think the air conditioner is working correctly. My pets have all become ill, the floors are filthy, and I can't get anyone to help clean up.
Unfortunatley, my place was broken into a few years ago and some significant damage was done. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but my companion has me a little scared about the chances of it happening again. I'm told that it's pretty likely. Luckily though, every time I forget about the risks, my companion is quick to remind me so I don't get too comfortable. (Although I'm beginning to think that these warnings are being used to control me.)
I hesitate saying anything, but I think I've met someone else. Someone who gives me hope. Someone I feel that I can trust. Unfortunately my companion found out that I had been spending some time with my new friend and has begun spreading lies. These are some of the most awful distortions I have ever heard. Listening to them, a person would think that my new friend was deceptive, dishonest, and evil; but this just isn't true. I know because I've checked.
I'm hoping that things will turn around for me soon. In fact, my new friend and I are making plans to get away. It looks as though we can both get together in November. I can't wait!
