Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Dear Mr. Bush (An Open Letter)

Dear Mr. Bush,

Last night, during your annual address to the nation, you asked congress (and, by proxy, you were asking America) to support your new plan for Iraq. You did this by forcefully stating:
...whatever you voted for, you did not vote for failure.

While that may be true, allow me to remind you what else our elected officials (and, by proxy, America) did not vote for.

They did not vote for incompetence.

They did not vote for mismanagement.

They did not vote for lining the pockets of Halliburton and Bechtel.

They did not vote for Abu Ghraib.

They did not vote for Al Qaqaa to remain unguarded.

They did not vote for babysitting a civil war.

They did not vote for undeterred looting.

They did not vote for botched executions.

They did not vote for militia supported leaders.

They did not vote for leaving billions of dollars unaccounted for.

They did not vote to for lying about forged documents.

They did not vote for disclosing the identity of an undercover CIA agent.

They did not vote for death squads.

They did not vote for suicide bombings.

They did not vote for over 3,000 dead American soldiers.

They did not vote for being lied to about the readiness of Iraqi troops.

They did not vote for being told that we're winning in Iraq when it is obviously untrue.

They did not vote for being labeled cowards and unpatriotic when they had enough common sense to recognize that the current approach was not working.

They did not vote for being smeared in the media when they spoke out in opposition of what has obviously become a failed policy.

They did not vote for stretching our military too thin.

They did not vote for ignoring the advice of our military leaders.

They did not vote for abandoning the search for Osama bin Laden.

And today they did not vote for supporting your new plan for more of the same.

But they got all of these things, just the same, didn't they?

So you see Mr. Bush, sometimes things happen. Sometimes you don't always get what you vote for. It's like Mick Jagger once said: "You Can't Always Get What You Want." Mr. Bush, I'm afraid you may just have to resign yourself to the fact that whether they voted for failure or not, they're going to get it due to your incompetence, your mismanagement, and your continued inability to face the reality of the situation.


Saturday, January 13, 2007


We Don't Need a Plan! (Redux)

In today's radio address, George W. Bush tried to once again paint the Democrats as the party of no ideas, saying:
Members of Congress have a right to express their views, and express them forcefully. But those who refuse to give this plan a chance to work have an obligation to offer an alternative that has a better chance for success. To oppose everything while proposing nothing is irresponsible.

Forget about the fact that the Democrats have offered up a number of plans for a minute and think about what he is saying. Essentially, it boils down to this: The Democrats need to fix my mistakes or shut-up. I believe Representative Chris Murphy may have best summed up my feelings when he said when he said:
"It is like dropping a raw egg and asking me what my plans are for putting it back together."

But I'm reminded of something I posted nearly two years ago. So join me in the wayback machine as we rewind to April 28, 2005, when I wrote the following:
With Bush's poll numbers sagging like week-old party balloons, we're seeing more and more conservatives going on the offensive to deflect criticism away from Georgieboy's failed policies. This week alone, the Today show has had Tucker Carlson (I don't care if he's employed by the network or not, he's still a conservative hack) and William Kristol on without any liberal opposition to discuss Bush's performance. (Damn liberal media bias!)

What I keep hearing from all of these babbling suits is that "the Democrats don't have a plan." Georgieboy even did some of his own babbling tonight during his "press conference" when he claimed that he was proud to be "of the party of ideas" (implying, of course, that the Democratic Party has none.) According to them, we are clueless and only capable of obstruction.

Well, I have news for them...We don't need a fucking plan!

Let's say I go out for drinks with my favorite local conservative hack. We talk politics and sports and argue and have a good time. At the end of the evening I call myself a cab but my conservative friend decides to drive himself home. I say, "Why don't you split the cab with me? I'll pick you up in the morning and we'll come back to get your car." But my friend, wanting to save himself a few dollars, says "No, I'm alright. I'll see you tomorrow."

On his way home, he sideswipes a parked car and hits a telephone pole. The police arrive and determine he's intoxicated and place him in jail. Now, is it my responsibility to come up with a plan to get him out of trouble? Hell no. He got his sorry ass into this mess, he can get himself out.

Such is the case across today's political landscape. The conservatives are too busy complaining that the Democrats lack a plan to realize that this is their own mess. They got us into this shit, they are now responsible for getting us out it.

Iraq? Republican mess. Social Security? Do you remember Al Gore's lockbox? What was in it? That's right, the Social Security trust-fund. He was going to protect the trust-fund with the budget surplus but Bush decided to blow the surplus on tax cuts thereby making it necessary to borrow against the trust-fund. Once again, it's his fuck-up. He can come up with his own damn plan! John Bolton? Not my party's nominee. Terri Schiavo? My party stayed out of it. The "nuclear option?" Public opinion is opposed to it by 66%. Doesn't sound like my party needs a plan.

The way I see things is this: The Republican party stepped in it big time when they decided they had a mandate. Now they want us to clean the shit off of their shoes for them. I say screw them. This is their mess, they got themselves into it, they can damn-well get themselves out of it. If they hadn't gotten themselves so damn drunk with power, they wouldn't have tried to drive this shit home in the first place. It's not our job to bail their asses out of trouble.

Oh, and one more thing. I've had enough of the Republicans saying "at least my party has a plan." You're right, they do. It's a shitty one. Congratulations. Just because somebody comes up with a plan doesn't mean that we should follow it. A shitty plan is a shitty plan. Following it because you're too damned stupid or lazy to come up with a better one is no way to run a country. Maybe if you weren't such arrogant shitheads you'd have listened to some of our plans before you started implementing your own.

Dammit! Now I'm pissed!

Needless to say, I'm still pissed.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Bush Endorses "Cut & Run"

In his speech to a fed up nation last night, George W. Bush fully endorsed a "cut and run" policy in Iraq. Yeah, yeah, I know it sounded like he was dragging the nation deeper into this extremely unpopular war, but that's only if you listened to the words he said. However... If you actually paid attention to what he meant, it was quite clear. And it only took one sentence.
I've made it clear to the Prime Minister and Iraq's other leaders that America's commitment is not open-ended.

WTF? Is he serious? What about stay the course? What about finish the mission? What about honoring the sacrifices of those... aw screw it! Old GW said we're leaving if shit don't get better. Because that can be the only interpretation of "America's commitment is not open-ended."

In those short six words, Georgieboy essentially said "We will cut and run if we have to." Basically, it looks as though the administration is escalating the war by injecting 20,000 more troops into the situation in a last ditch effort to bring peace and stability to the region. However, they know full well that it isn't going to happen. Why, you ask? Because adding 20,000 more troops puts us at approximately 150,000 to 160,000 troops, the same number of troops we had as late as last year when things were already going to shit. And what of the plans to do house-to-house searches? Well we tried that twice already and it hasn't worked worth a damn either time.

So the way I see it is this: Bush and the other fuckwits are sending 20,000 more troops to Iraq knowing damn-well that it won't help the situation. We've agreed to help the Iraqis achieve their "benchmarks" knowing full well that they won't be able to because of the continuing violence and sectarian strife that we will still be unable to control. Then six or eight months from now when the shit's really hitting the fan, we're going to hear "America's commitment is not open-ended" again and we're going to bug out because the Iraqis didn't uphold their end of the bargain at which point we can push all of the blame onto the Iraqis for not being grateful that we fucked up their country. Now that, to me, sounds like a true "cut and run" strategy.

Friday, January 05, 2007


Bill O'Reilly Is A @#!&ing Idiot!

(Warning: Naughty words to follow!)

Yeah, yeah, I know... DUH! But I think his latest column takes him to new heights depths of dumbassery... or dumbassedness... or dumbassosity...well, you get the point.

In Bill O'Leilley's latest post, he tries to once again plead his case for liberal media bias. (I'm not going to link to his column because the only place I can find it is on his site and I'm not going to give him the traffic.) I first read about it in the shit-ass rag that passes for my hometown paper. (We're lucky around here because we not only get O'Reilly's column every week, but we also get William Rusher, Morton Kondrake, and some bat-shit-crazy psycho woman from the New Republic.) Anyway, on to the article. As I said: Liberal media bias, blah, blah, blah, you know the rest.
For months, my research staff has attempted to find one television critic writing for a major American newspaper who is a conservative thinker. They could not find one.

WTF? Not one? Hmmmm... Let me think... Conservative thinker... Television critic... (blink!)

Hello!? Apparently Bill and his staff got so wrapped up in their search, they failed to notice the 300 lb. television critic/writer/conservative thinker in the room. I mean double WTF? I mean, COME. ON! Who is a conservative thinker if not Mr. Fallafel himself? Puhleaze!

And the best part of all of this is that on Billyboy's own website, he lists the news outlets around the country that carry his column.
Ketchikan Daily News Ketchikan AK
The Cullman Times Cullman AL
Times Daily Florence AL
Montgomery Montgomery AL
El Dorado News Times El Dorado AR
Casa Grande Dispatch Casa Grande AZ
The Desert Advocate Cave Creek AZ
Green Valley News Green Valley AZ
Prescott Newspapers, Inc. Prescott AZ
Daily Republic Fairfield CA
The Desert Sun Palm Springs CA
Antelope Valley Press Palmdale CA
California Contractor Santa Monica CA
Ventura County Star Ventura CA
Daily News Woodland Hills CA
Siskiyou Daily News Yreka CA
Canon City Daily Record Canon City CO
Longmont Daily Times-Call LONGMONT CO
New Haven Register New Haven CT
Waterbury Republican-American Waterbury CT
Human Events Washington DC
Human Events Online Washington DC
The Washington Times Washington DC
Washington Times Nat'l Weekly Washington DC
Washington Times Online Washington DC
The Daily Breeze Cape Coral FL
South FL. Sun & Sentinel Fort Lauderdale FL
NaplesNews.Com Naples FL
Ocala Star-Banner Ocala FL
Newsmax Magazine West Palm Beach FL
Appen Newspapers Alpharetta GA
The Amarillo Globe-News Augusta GA
The Examiner Augusta GA
Yankton Daily Press Augusta GA
The Brunswick News Brunswick GA
The Columbus Ledger & Enquirer Columbus GA
The Fayette Citizen Fayetteville GA
Gwinnett Daily Post Lawrenceville GA
The Macon Telegraph & News Macon GA
Marietta Daily Journal Marietta GA
Midweek Printing Honolulu HI
Maui News Wailuku HI
Conservative Chronicle Hampton IA
Conservative Chronicle Online Hampton IA
Times-Republican Marshalltown IA
Sioux City Journal Sioux City IA
Daily Freeman-Journal Webster City IA
The Morning News Blackfoot ID
Bloomington Daily Pantagraph Bloomington IL
Sun-Times Chicago IL
Herald and Review Decatur IL
Daily Chronicle DeKalb IL
Herald-News Joliet IL
Macomb Journal Macomb IL
The Times Ottawa IL
Pekin Daily Times Pekin IL
Quincy Herald Whig Quincy IL
The Taylorville Daily Breeze Taylorville IL
Indianapolis Business Journal Indianapolis IN
The News-Sun Kendallville IN
Reporter Lebanon IN
The News Dispatch Michigan City IN
The Petersburg Press-Dispatch Petersburg IN
Daily News Bowling Green KY
Bastrop Daily Enterprise Bastrop LA
Hobbs Daily News-Sun Lake Charles LA
Minden Press-Herald Minden LA
The Daily Iberian New Iberia LA
Boston Herald Boston MA
The Enterprise Brockton MA
Westfield Evening News Westfield MA
Times-News Cumberland MD
The Daily Times Salisbury MD
The Alpena News Alpena MI
The Daily Press Escanaba MI
The Mining Journal Marquette MI
The Macomb Daily Mount Clemons MI
Fairmont Sentinel Fairmont MN
St. Paul Legal Ledger St. Paul MN
Columbia Daily Tribune Columbia MO
The Lebanon Daily Record Lebanon MO
Neosho Daily News Neosho MO
Daily American Republic Poplar Bluff MO
West News Magazine St. Louis MO
Independent News Sullivan MO
The Daily Corinthian Corinth MS
The Newton Record Newton MS
The Vicksburg Post Vicksburg MS
The Livingston Enterprise Livingston MT
The Smokey Mountain Sentinel Hayesville NC
Kernersville News Kernersville NC
The Daily Herald Roanoke Rapids NC
The Minot Daily News Minot ND
Trade West Grand Isle NE
Telegraph North Platte NE
Farm Dayta Omaha NE
York Trade & Transactions York NE
Elko Daily Free Press Elko NV
Liberty Watch Las Vegas NV
Reno Gazette Journal Reno NV
The Recorder Amsterdam NY
The Daily News Batavia NY
Press & Sun-Bulletin Binghamton NY
Jewish World Review Brooklyn NY
The Leader Herald Groversville NY
Post Journal Jamestown NY
Adirondack Enterprise Lake NY
New York Post New York NY
The Daily Star Oneonta NY
Times Newsweekly Ridgewood NY
Democrat and Chronicle Rochester NY
Daily Sentinel Rome NY
Staten Island Advance Staten Island NY
The Bryan Times Bryan OH
The Evening Review East Liverpool OH
Gallipolis Daily Tribune Gallipolis OH
Daily Advocate Greenville OH
Lancaster Eagle-Gazette Lancaster OH
The Times-Leader Martins Ferry OH
Salem News Salem OH
Sandusky Register Sandusky OH
The Herald Star Steubenville OH
The Advertiser Tribune Tiffin OH
Tribune Chronicle Warren OH
The Times Recorder Zanesville OH
News Press Stillwater OK
Ottawa Sun Ottawa ON
Albany Democrat Albany OR
Altoona Mirror Altoona PA
The Progress Clearfield PA
The Express-Times Easton PA
The Record-Argus Greenville PA
Standard-Speaker Hazelton PA
Lancaster New Era Lancaster PA
The Lewiston Sentinel Lewiston PA
Reading Eagle Company Reading PA
The Ridgway Record Ridgway PA
Warren Times-Observer Warren PA
Williamsport Sun - Gazette Williamsport PA
York Daily Record York PA
The Woonsocket Call Woonsocket RI
Aiken Standard Aiken SC
The Index-Journal Greenwood SC
Journal Tribune Seneca SC
The Daily Republic Mitchell SD
The Rapid City Journal Rapid City SD
Kingsport Times-News Kingsport TN
Knoxville Journal Knoxville TN
The Democrat Union Lawrenceburg TN
Citizen Tribune Morristown TN
Daily News Journal Murfreesboro TN
Shelbyville Times-Gazette Shelbyville TN
The Amarillo Globe-Times Amarillo TX
The Facts Clute TX
The Courier Conroe TX
Corpus Christi Caller-Times Corpus Christi TX
Ft. Worth Business Press Ft. Worth TX
West University Examiner Houston TX
Kerrville Daily Times Kerrville TX
Marshall News Messenger Marshall TX
Midland Reporter-Telegram Midland TX
Plainview Daily Herald Plainview TX
Port Arthur News Port Arthur TX
The Post-Dispatch Post TX
Sulphur Springs News-Telegram Sulphur Springs TX
Daily Spectrum St. George UT
Salem Communications Arlington VA
Frontier Publications Vashon WA
Walla Walla Union Bulletin Walla Walla WA
Waukesha County Freeman Beaver Dam WI
The Janesville Gazette Janesville WI
The Lakeland Times Minocqua WI
The Inter-Mountain Elkins WV
Times West Virginian Fairmont WV
Herald Dispatch Huntington WV
Evening Journal Martinsburg WV
The Parkersburg Sentinel Parkersburg WV
Observer Wheeling WV
The Intellengencer Wheeling WV
The Messenger Wheeling WV
Jackson Hole Daily Jackson Hole WY
Laramie Daily Boomerang Laramie WY

That's 181 for those of you playing along at home. The list includes the Washington Times (of course) and the New York Times. Did I miss something? Are those not "major American newspaper[s]?" I believe they are.

Of course Bill tries to clarify his point, because in the very next sentence of his column he says:
Scores of TV writers are registered Democrats—we can't find a single registered Republican.

As if only Republicans can be conservative thinkers. Sorry Bill! But you're just nit-picking on this one. This "I'm an independent" charade of yours is possibly the worst cover-up job in the entertainment world since Elton John got married to prove he wasn't gay. Give it up! Nobody's buying it. (Kind of like your book. You know the one that's #70 on Amazon behind Barack Obama, #2 and #31, and Jimmy Carter, #37.)

Monday, January 01, 2007


Putting The Iraq Numbers In Perspective

As you no doubt have heard, the US death toll in Iraq has now reached 3,000. In a world where we are inundated by numbers everyday from poll numbers to the stock market to sports scores and test scores, it may be tempting to view this as just another statistic. But to the families of those 3,000 soldiers, it's much more than just another statistic. So in an attempt to put this major debacle into some perspective, I thought it might be worth looking at some of these numbers a little more closely.

I'd like to look at three numbers in particular.

3,000 is obviously the number of US casualties in Iraq, but let's put that in perspective. 3,000 is:

350,000,000,000 is the current cost of the war. Put into perspective, that number is:

1,383 is the number of days that we have been in Iraq as of January 1, 2007. For a family of four, this equals:

And what do we have to show for all of this?

Just one debacle after another and a tarnished image the world over.

So when Bush addresses the nation later this month to announce his plans for "A New Way Forward," remember what we've accomplished so far. And know that a "surge" in troops is nothing more than more troops doing the same thing they've been doing for the last 1,383 days.

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