Wednesday, September 01, 2004

 

The RNC Midterm Report

On day three of the Republican Convention I thought it would be a good time to look back at what we've learned so far.

Night 1

John McCain can't speak and Rudy Giuliani lies.

I was under the impression that John McCain had given a public address before but after Monday night I'm not so sure. His delivery was pedantic and his material couldn't have been more boring. His biggest applause came from a reference to Michael Moore. How about that; Michael Moore, the most hated man in the Conservative Party, gets the biggest reaction at the Republican Convention. Shows how bad McCain's speech was.

As I pointed out yesterday, Rudy Giuliani's speech was full of lies and deceptions. Today, the Washington Post pointed out a few lies themselves. His continual reference to 9/11 was shameful. His recounting of a man's plunge to his death was inexcusable. His attacks on John Kerry were not only inaccurate but immature. In short, his speech was a joke.

Grade for Night 1: F


Night 2

Laura's boring, the twins are worse than Dad, and Arnold loves Nixon (Oh, and he lies).

I'll give Arnold Schwarzeneger one thing, he's got some balls. It takes guts to stand up in front of millions of people and proclaim a love for Nixon while telling a false story about your introduction to politics. I would think that proclaiming love for Nixon would be enough, but not for the Gropenator; he lied about watching the Nixon/Humphrey presidential race. In the past he's told this story where he talked about watching the debates, but unfortunately for him, Nixon/Humphrey never debated. He's making up stories about his past. Isn't this the same thing Bush accused Al Gore of doing? And what was the whole "you are a Republican" thing? I really expected him to go into his Jeff Foxworthy impersonation and end each statement with "you could be a redneck." (Wouldn't it be funny to see Arnold do an impersonation of someone else instead of the other way around?) Oh, and by the way Arnold, we've all seen your movies, you don't need to quote them any more. And "girlie-men?" Please, could you come up with something original next time?

Next up we had the Bush twins. Now I thought their Dad was a challenged public speaker, but these guys put him to shame. I know they're not trained professional speakers, but what a horrible performance. The timing was awful, the jokes were awful, and if they're going to make fun of the Kerry daughters for the hamster story, I think we should skewer these girls for revealing that their parents call each other "Bushy." Ewww!

I figured the twins must have gotten their public speaking skills from their father, but then came Laura. Could she be any more of a door mat? All you have to do is listen to Rush Limbaugh and you know that Republicans like their women to be subserviant, but this is ridiculous. I know this shouldn't come as any big surprise considering her former profession, but she sounded like the old librarian from high school You know the one, hasn't had her nose out of a book in twenty years and couldn't possibly be more out of touch with reality. She struck me the same way June Cleaver always did: weak. Her speech couldn't have been more boring. Who the hell cares about her first date with George? Didn't you already tell us this crap four years ago? It's time for some new material.

Grade for Night 2: F

As for the other elements you would expect from a convention, like policy, vision for the future, and political professionalism, I'd say they are non-existent. All we've heard about is how John Kerry's wrong for America, George Bush was a stud on September 14, 2001, and wearing purple heart band-aids to make fun of wounded veterans is funny.

Overall Grade: F

Unfortunately, I don't see Zel Miller or Dick Cheney raising the bar any.



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