Monday, December 20, 2004



Does anybody remember the television show Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K)? It involved really bad sci-fi movies and a viewer and his two robots who made sarcastic remarks about the films. Quite amusing, indeed. Well, I thought it might be fun if we applied the same principle to our daily news. I like to call it Political Science Theater 3000 or PST3K. Welcome to episode one.

Yea, yea, Happy Holidays prick!
Because you're always so forthcoming with information.
I'm sure you do.
As opposed to achieving something else?
So what if they're not in this country, right?
So my rich friends can continue to screw the country out of taxes.
To everyone except the ones who need it most.
Yea! Screw the middle schools. Little fuckers are annoying anyway!
You heard him folks, he said the fix was in on Social Security.
You know, both parties: Republicans and Conservatives.
Like gay marriage and cures for diseases.
I know of one type of intelligence that isn't going to be improved. His!
Just as soon as they move to Canada.
You see, now that we've bombed the shit out of them, they're just really pissed off at us. I'm sure they won't retalliate or anything.
As long as they continue to kiss our asses and do what we want them to.
We've had Diebold programming their voting machines for at least six months now.
I thought they were already expressing their "free will" by bombing the shit out of us whenever they feel like it.
However, there's a good chance they could all be dead by election day.
And they will have absolutely no authority whatsoever.
Assuming it meets our our specifications, that is.
So just how many beginnings does this process have, asshole? You've been telling us this for twenty-one months now. Is there ver going to be an end to this process?
Except for the tyranny we're forcing them to live in right now. But that's beside the point.
In other words: We're screwed!
Like I said: SCREWED!
Yea we know, Diebold.
Or at least the ones we haven't already slaughtered.
Uh, we've seen your strategy, George. It's been the same since the beginning. It's called "Whack-a-Mole." You might want to rethink it.
Uh, that's spelled D-R-A-F-T for those of you playing along at home.
Or at least we'll keep killing someone. Who knows, maybe it will be an insurgent, maybe not. We're really just guessing anyway.
And eventually kick our asses out.
No, they just export their jobs to other countries that pay $.50/hr and aren't required to pay federal taxes.
Except for us, of course.
No kidding, I hear Rumsfeld's had to have his signature machine refurbished twice already.
That's more than you've ever done, jackass!
Blah, blah, blah!

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