Tuesday, April 26, 2005



According to the Pentagon we almost caught Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. We were "this close." (kissfan is now holding his thumb and finger approximately a half-inch apart.)

WTF? Almost? Is that anything like being almost pregnant? Hell, Al Gore was almost the President of the United States. Shit, John Kerry almost won the last election. The Boston Red Sox almost won the World Series in 1986. The Cleveland Cavaliers almost made the NBA playoffs this season. But what do all of these things have in common? None of them happened! And when it comes right down to it, we don't have al-Zarqawi either.

This "announcement" by the Pentagon that we almost caught him is a flailing attempt to put a positive spin on a shitty situation. The insurgent attacks are increasing and becoming more coordinated every day. And according to the latest poll numbers from the Washington Post, the administration is losing ground fast when it comes to Iraq (56% disapprove of the way it is being handled). So they trot out this "nothing." This insignificant piece of information hoping that maybe the public will say "hey, we're making progress!" But the truth is, we're in the same old shithole we've been in for the last two years.

As my grandfather used to say, you can dress up a turd any way you like, but in the end it's still just a turd. Iraq is Bush's turd and the Pentagon is just trying to put a pretty new dress on it. Oh the mainstream media is about to cream themselves over this, of course. Matt and Katie were on the verge of orgasm this morning reporting that we almost had al-Zarqawi. But don't be fooled. All we've got is a turd.

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