Sunday, July 03, 2005


Special Sunday Post

Kissfan is away tonight rehearsing for a production of Mame (he had to learn how to play the banjo for this one), so I, Mrs. Kissfan decided to publish a special Sunday post. Oldwhitelady wanted to hear a Band-Aid story and Lisa brought up the toy in the box story, so here goes.

There are actually no Band-Aids involved in this story and my mother is the one who comes out looking bad in it, but it's a good one.

Several years ago we were at my mother's house for Thanksgiving; we had invited kissfans parents (grandma and grandpa kissfan) over for dinner (Kissfan and I actually grew up in the same town, but we didn't meet each other until we were out of high school for several years). Kissfan is an excellent cook, so my mother always has him make the dressing and the gravy. He actually spends a lot of time in the kitchen bossing her around every time we go there for a meal. My mother usually ends up calling kissfan an "asshole" sometime during the visit. Anyway, when grandma and grandpa kissfan arrived, they brought toy trucks for our two little kissfans. We set to work trying to free the trucks from the boxes they were strapped to - which many of you know is no easy task. We got down to the stupid plastic strips that can only be removed with something sharp. Kissfan decided to take out his pocket knife to cut them. Let me take a little break to tell you about an earlier event. About ten years ago we bought a new stove. Kissfan was cutting the box open with a knife and ended up scratching his leg with it. With this event in mind, I told the kids to watch out because daddy is dangerous with a knife. Not two seconds later, the plastic thing gave and kissfan sank the knife into his finger. From there things really got crazy. My mom grabbed a towel from the kitchen, wrapped it around kissfans finger, and then rushed him to the sink. When he ran water over it, he almost passed out (he's not real good with blood). I decided to take him to the ER because the cut looked pretty deep. We got outside, and kissfan had to sit down in the yard for a few minutes (he was so white). All I kept thinking was, "What if he passes out on the way? I'm not going to be able to pick him up." I got him to the ER, but again we had to sit in the car for a few minutes before I could walk him in. Lucky for us, the ER was empty. Did I mention that it was about 11:30 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day? The nurses were expecting to hear us tell them that he cut his finger while carving the turkey. When I told them what really happened, they didn't even bother to hide their laughter. They immediatly started working on him while I filled out the paperwork. All was going well. We were just waiting for the doctor to show up to put the stitches in.

Here's where the story gets good.

As we were waiting, a nurse came in and told me that I had a phone call. When I picked up the phone, I heard my mother's voice on the other end. Now what do you suppose she was calling us in the ER for? I thought that maybe she wanted to find out how kissfan was doing. Surprisingly, that's not what she was calling for. She wanted to know how much longer we were going to be because she didn't know how to make the gravy.

The rest of our stay in the ER was typical. We weren't there very long (the place was empty), so we were able to make it back in time for turkey. And yes, kissfan made the gravy when we got back.

As a side note, I just wanted to let you know that my mother and kissfan get along very well. This story makes her sound uncaring, but actually she's just a total air head.

I have some great stories about kissfan's attempts at home improvement. I'll save those for another time. These stories don't involve my mother, and kissfan is actually the one who looks stupid.

Until then, thanks for reading.

Mrs. Kissfan

P.S. Leaving comments only encourages me.

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