Truespeak

(Warning: Naughty words to follow!)

Yeah, yeah, I know... DUH! But I think his latest column takes him to new heights depths of dumbassery... or dumbassedness... or dumbassosity...well, you get the point.

In Bill O'Leilley's latest post, he tries to once again plead his case for liberal media bias. (I'm not going to link to his column because the only place I can find it is on his site and I'm not going to give him the traffic.) I first read about it in the shit-ass rag that passes for my hometown paper. (We're lucky around here because we not only get O'Reilly's column every week, but we also get William Rusher, Morton Kondrake, and some bat-shit-crazy psycho woman from the New Republic.) Anyway, on to the article. As I said: Liberal media bias, blah, blah, blah, you know the rest.

For months, my research staff has attempted to find one television critic writing for a major American newspaper who is a conservative thinker. They could not find one.

WTF? Not one? Hmmmm... Let me think... Conservative thinker... Television critic... (blink!)

Hello!? Apparently Bill and his staff got so wrapped up in their search, they failed to notice the 300 lb. television critic/writer/conservative thinker in the room. I mean double WTF? I mean, COME. ON! Who is a conservative thinker if not Mr. Fallafel himself? Puhleaze!

And the best part of all of this is that on Billyboy's own website, he lists the news outlets around the country that carry his column.

Ketchikan Daily News Ketchikan AK
The Cullman Times Cullman AL
Times Daily Florence AL
Montgomery Advertiser.com Montgomery AL
El Dorado News Times El Dorado AR
Casa Grande Dispatch Casa Grande AZ
The Desert Advocate Cave Creek AZ
Green Valley News Green Valley AZ
Prescott Newspapers, Inc. Prescott AZ
Daily Republic Fairfield CA
The Desert Sun Palm Springs CA
Antelope Valley Press Palmdale CA
California Contractor Santa Monica CA
Ventura County Star Ventura CA
Daily News Woodland Hills CA
Siskiyou Daily News Yreka CA
Canon City Daily Record Canon City CO
Longmont Daily Times-Call LONGMONT CO
New Haven Register New Haven CT
Waterbury Republican-American Waterbury CT
Human Events Washington DC
Human Events Online Washington DC
The Washington Times Washington DC
Washington Times Nat'l Weekly Washington DC
Washington Times Online Washington DC
The Daily Breeze Cape Coral FL
South FL. Sun & Sentinel Fort Lauderdale FL
NaplesNews.Com Naples FL
Ocala Star-Banner Ocala FL
Newsmax Magazine West Palm Beach FL
Appen Newspapers Alpharetta GA
The Amarillo Globe-News Augusta GA
The Examiner Augusta GA
Yankton Daily Press Augusta GA
The Brunswick News Brunswick GA
The Columbus Ledger & Enquirer Columbus GA
The Fayette Citizen Fayetteville GA
Gwinnett Daily Post Lawrenceville GA
The Macon Telegraph & News Macon GA
Marietta Daily Journal Marietta GA
Midweek Printing Honolulu HI
Maui News Wailuku HI
Conservative Chronicle Hampton IA
Conservative Chronicle Online Hampton IA
Times-Republican Marshalltown IA
Sioux City Journal Sioux City IA
Daily Freeman-Journal Webster City IA
The Morning News Blackfoot ID
Bloomington Daily Pantagraph Bloomington IL
Sun-Times Chicago IL
Herald and Review Decatur IL
Daily Chronicle DeKalb IL
Herald-News Joliet IL
Macomb Journal Macomb IL
The Times Ottawa IL
Pekin Daily Times Pekin IL
Quincy Herald Whig Quincy IL
The Taylorville Daily Breeze Taylorville IL
Indianapolis Business Journal Indianapolis IN
The News-Sun Kendallville IN
Reporter Lebanon IN
The News Dispatch Michigan City IN
The Petersburg Press-Dispatch Petersburg IN
Daily News Bowling Green KY
Bastrop Daily Enterprise Bastrop LA
Hobbs Daily News-Sun Lake Charles LA
Minden Press-Herald Minden LA
The Daily Iberian New Iberia LA
Boston Herald Boston MA
The Enterprise Brockton MA
Westfield Evening News Westfield MA
Times-News Cumberland MD
The Daily Times Salisbury MD
The Alpena News Alpena MI
The Daily Press Escanaba MI
The Mining Journal Marquette MI
The Macomb Daily Mount Clemons MI
Fairmont Sentinel Fairmont MN
St. Paul Legal Ledger St. Paul MN
Columbia Daily Tribune Columbia MO
The Lebanon Daily Record Lebanon MO
Neosho Daily News Neosho MO
Daily American Republic Poplar Bluff MO
West News Magazine St. Louis MO
Independent News Sullivan MO
The Daily Corinthian Corinth MS
The Newton Record Newton MS
The Vicksburg Post Vicksburg MS
The Livingston Enterprise Livingston MT
The Smokey Mountain Sentinel Hayesville NC
Kernersville News Kernersville NC
The Daily Herald Roanoke Rapids NC
The Minot Daily News Minot ND
Trade West Grand Isle NE
Telegraph North Platte NE
Farm Dayta Omaha NE
York Trade & Transactions York NE
Elko Daily Free Press Elko NV
Liberty Watch Las Vegas NV
Reno Gazette Journal Reno NV
The Recorder Amsterdam NY
The Daily News Batavia NY
Press & Sun-Bulletin Binghamton NY
Jewish World Review Brooklyn NY
The Leader Herald Groversville NY
Post Journal Jamestown NY
Adirondack Enterprise Lake NY
New York Post New York NY
The Daily Star Oneonta NY
Times Newsweekly Ridgewood NY
Democrat and Chronicle Rochester NY
Daily Sentinel Rome NY
Staten Island Advance Staten Island NY
The Bryan Times Bryan OH
The Evening Review East Liverpool OH
Gallipolis Daily Tribune Gallipolis OH
Daily Advocate Greenville OH
Lancaster Eagle-Gazette Lancaster OH
The Times-Leader Martins Ferry OH
Salem News Salem OH
Sandusky Register Sandusky OH
The Herald Star Steubenville OH
The Advertiser Tribune Tiffin OH
Tribune Chronicle Warren OH
The Times Recorder Zanesville OH
News Press Stillwater OK
Ottawa Sun Ottawa ON
Albany Democrat Albany OR
Altoona Mirror Altoona PA
The Progress Clearfield PA
The Express-Times Easton PA
The Record-Argus Greenville PA
Standard-Speaker Hazelton PA
Lancaster New Era Lancaster PA
The Lewiston Sentinel Lewiston PA
Reading Eagle Company Reading PA
The Ridgway Record Ridgway PA
Warren Times-Observer Warren PA
Williamsport Sun - Gazette Williamsport PA
York Daily Record York PA
The Woonsocket Call Woonsocket RI
Aiken Standard Aiken SC
The Index-Journal Greenwood SC
Journal Tribune Seneca SC
The Daily Republic Mitchell SD
The Rapid City Journal Rapid City SD
Kingsport Times-News Kingsport TN
Knoxville Journal Knoxville TN
The Democrat Union Lawrenceburg TN
Citizen Tribune Morristown TN
Daily News Journal Murfreesboro TN
Shelbyville Times-Gazette Shelbyville TN
The Amarillo Globe-Times Amarillo TX
The Facts Clute TX
The Courier Conroe TX
Corpus Christi Caller-Times Corpus Christi TX
Ft. Worth Business Press Ft. Worth TX
West University Examiner Houston TX
Kerrville Daily Times Kerrville TX
Marshall News Messenger Marshall TX
Midland Reporter-Telegram Midland TX
Plainview Daily Herald Plainview TX
Port Arthur News Port Arthur TX
The Post-Dispatch Post TX
Sulphur Springs News-Telegram Sulphur Springs TX
Daily Spectrum St. George UT
Salem Communications Arlington VA
Frontier Publications Vashon WA
Walla Walla Union Bulletin Walla Walla WA
Waukesha County Freeman Beaver Dam WI
The Janesville Gazette Janesville WI
The Lakeland Times Minocqua WI
The Inter-Mountain Elkins WV
Times West Virginian Fairmont WV
Herald Dispatch Huntington WV
Evening Journal Martinsburg WV
The Parkersburg Sentinel Parkersburg WV
Observer Wheeling WV
The Intellengencer Wheeling WV
The Messenger Wheeling WV
Jackson Hole Daily Jackson Hole WY
Laramie Daily Boomerang Laramie WY

That's 181 for those of you playing along at home. The list includes the Washington Times (of course) and the New York Times. Did I miss something? Are those not "major American newspaper[s]?" I believe they are.

Of course Bill tries to clarify his point, because in the very next sentence of his column he says:

Scores of TV writers are registered Democrats—we can't find a single registered Republican.

As if only Republicans can be conservative thinkers. Sorry Bill! But you're just nit-picking on this one. This "I'm an independent" charade of yours is possibly the worst cover-up job in the entertainment world since Elton John got married to prove he wasn't gay. Give it up! Nobody's buying it. (Kind of like your book. You know the one that's #70 on Amazon behind Barack Obama, #2 and #31, and Jimmy Carter, #37.)