Truespeak

be raising holy hell again. Tomorrow morning I'd jump up on the dais there on the Senate floor, whip out the old dong again and scream "I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO, YOU CONSERVATIVE COCKSUCKERS!!!! It's that time again fuckers and this time I'm starting with you Cornyn. Line up assholes!"

Of course some people might view this as a little extreme, but I think old Johnny-boy Kerry has earned this one. Check this out:

The head of the German intelligence agency, in an interview published here Tuesday, said Osama bin Laden had been able to elude capture after the American invasion of Afghanistan by paying bribes to the Afghan militias delegated the task of finding him.

"The principal mistake was made already in 2001, when one wanted bin Laden to be apprehended by the Afghan militias in Tora Bora," the intelligence official, August Hanning, said in an interview with the German business newspaper Handelsblatt.

There, bin Laden could buy himself free with a lot of money," Mr. Hanning said.

A spokeswoman for Mr. Hanning confirmed the accuracy of the newspaper's account. She said Afghan forces had told Mr. bin Laden they knew his whereabouts and he would be arrested, but they allowed him safe passage in exchange for a bribe.

In the past, other officials - including Gen. Tommy R. Franks, the former American commander in Afghanistan - have acknowledged that Afghan militias who fought on the side of the invasion coalition had allowed leaders of Al Qaeda and the Taliban to get away. But Mr. Hanning is the top intelligence official to say Mr. bin Laden was among them.

Military experts have also raised questions about the practice of relying on Afghan militias in the hunt for senior Qaeda and Taliban figures, saying that once the Taliban fell the militias became more interested in gaining power in Afghanistan's many tribal regions than in fulfilling American political goals.

During the American presidential campaign, the Democratic candidate, John Kerry, frequently criticized the Bush administration for what he called outsourcing the hunt for Mr. bin Laden. The search reached its most active phase after the fall of the Taliban, when American and Afghan troops attacked Qaeda hide-outs in the Tora Bora Mountains on the border with Pakistan.

Do you remember all the shit Kerry had to take for this comment? Every conservative ass-kisser came out against Kerry claiming he didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Turns out, he was right. Again!

I believe in being strong and resolute and determined. And I will hunt down and kill the terrorists, wherever they are.

But we also have to be smart, Jim. And smart means not diverting your attention from the real war on terror in Afghanistan against Osama bin Laden and taking if off to Iraq where the 9/11 Commission confirms there was no connection to 9/11 itself and Saddam Hussein, and where the reason for going to war was weapons of mass destruction, not the removal of Saddam Hussein.

This president has made, I regret to say, a colossal error of judgment. And judgment is what we look for in the president of the United States of America.

I'm proud that important military figures who are supporting me in this race: former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili; just yesterday, General Eisenhower's son, General John Eisenhower, endorsed me; General Admiral William Crown; General Tony McBeak, who ran the Air Force war so effectively for his father -- all believe I would make a stronger commander in chief. And they believe it because they know I would not take my eye off of the goal: Osama bin Laden.

Unfortunately, he escaped in the mountains of Tora Bora. We had him surrounded. But we didn't use American forces, the best trained in the world, to go kill him. The president relied on Afghan warlords and he outsourced that job too. That's wrong.

So I say to John Kerry, yet again, "Whip that thing out ol' boy. Shove it in their faces and wave it around all you want. Because once again, you were right. In more ways than most people will ever know, you were right. Enjoy yourself, buddy but watch out for Senator Lott. I hear he uses his teeth."